


Into the Sky

by Tsukkibito



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Suicidal Thoughts, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-06 18:22:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12216369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsukkibito/pseuds/Tsukkibito
Summary: Tanaka Ryuunosuke is a high school PE teacher and coaches the volleyball club. He asks an out of school kid to return to school. But things are not going so well.





	1. Chapter 1

  
I’m especially wary of delinquents, so when he placed his items on the counter, I felt kind of jumpy. He has a bad guy air on him, plus a buzzcut and a menacing look that would instantly “curdle dairy”. He’s tall and muscular, I could tell, even when he’s wearing a fur-lined parka.

  
“What’s wrong? Something on my face?” he asked. I winced nervously, a reflex, when he raised his hand, but it was just to pat the side of his mouth. Checking for crumbs.

  
“Uhm, no, nothing. . .” I stuttered and quickly handed him the plastic bag. He must have eaten something before dropping by here. I said my thank you carefully and handed him the plastic bag. He smiled widely and left.

  
Every night, he would always come by. By his purchased items, I learned that he has a wife and a kid. Or kids. After coming home from work, he pops around to buy something for his family, like candies and chips and condoms and milk. He would bounce on his place while waiting, hands inside his coat pocket. It’s getting colder.

  
“You look bored,” he said on one occasion that I almost jump in surprise.

  
“Uhm, this is just how I look, sir,” I answered, avoiding eye contact. He’s still making me nervous. I don’t wanna piss him off.

  
“You’re in high school?”

  
“Ye-yeah. . . But I stopped.”

  
“Why?!” he asked.

  
“Uh, well. . .” I started shaking my head. He moved his right hand that I instinctively dodged, trying to shrink as small as I could. Nothing happened. I slowly raised my head to look at him.  
He’s standing there, eyes wide, staring at me.

  
“What the hell happened to you?” he whispered and tucked his hand inside his pocket. “I’m actually a new teacher here, and I coach the boys’ volleyball club.”

  
I can’t sleep at all after that. He was telling me to come back to school, because he’s there. Maybe he’s saying that we could be friends, because I obviously look like someone who doesn’t have any. Maybe he’s saying that I should stick to him and nothing will happen to me.

  
I’m the worst though. All I could do best is overthink.

  
Thinking over things made me more anxious than how I already was. Of course I would want to go back to school. It could help me find more jobs in the future, when I'm finally able to live on my own. I just wanna get out of this place.

  
I stood for a while before finally deciding. I reached for my sling bag and checked my things inside. Just like how it was when I last saw it. Careful not to make any sound, I prepared my uniform and shoes. I'm going to quit my day jobs and go back to school instead.

  
He knows me. I could depend on that teacher. He made it seem that way.  
But my bedroom door creaked and a grinning face appeared on the slight crack. It was enough to make me tremble with fear. She saw what I was doing.

 

The teacher didn't come today. I'm planning on telling him straight away that I'm never going to school. It's hopeless. I walk aimlessly while fidgeting with the strap of my bag. I don't want to go home yet.

  
I sigh. My auntie won't even let me buy a warmer coat. It's freezing. I started jumping up and down the stairway to the train station to warm myself up.  
After a while, I sat on the bench and dozed off. Maybe I'll go far away and never return. To a happier place. Just like the little match girl.

  
Somewhere warm. And smells of coffee.

  
"Hey. The last train has left."

  
I jerked and almost broke down in panic when a warm liquid splashed on my face.

  
"Oops, shit man. I'm sorry!" He apologized. I looked up and saw his grinning delinquent face. "You moved all of a sudden and spilled the coffee."

  
We sat there, sipping coffee. He bought me another one from the vending machine.

  
"What happened to your face?" he asked all of a sudden that I choked on my coffee.

  
"Fell down the stairs."

  
"Running from home?"

  
I didn't answer and stood up.

  
"Thanks for the treat," I bowed to him and ran as fast as I could. Then I stopped and looked at my reflection on a store's window. Of course he would notice. My face is a mess. Even my hair looked like a nest. I looked behind me and sighed in relief. He's not following me.

  
I ran to the park. I guess I'll have to curl inside one of the mazes there. It was a good plan but when I reached the park, a big, scary long-haired man with a goatie was sitting on a swing, talking with a short but loud guy who's back's in my direction. It looked like they were arguing. The big guy stood up and looked in at me. With the source of light behind him, he looked like a demon yakuza. The smaller one looked behind him too, towards me.

  
My knees felt like jelly. I wanted to walk away as fast as I can't take a single step.

  
I'm such a coward.

 

"You're seriously making this old man worry," I heard him say from behind me. "Look, I'm not really a bad person, all right? I'm not going to beat you and steal your money."

  
" I don't have any though."

  
He started laughing.

  
"It's getting late. You can crash into my place tonight."

  
I stopped resisting and followed him.  
"I guess it's a good thing that my team had a late practice session," he said and tucked his big hands inside his coat pocket. "I might've never had a chance to bump into you in the station."

  
"That would've been convenient."  
He didn't comment on my sarcasm.

  
"You seem like a good kid, so I'd feel bad if something terrible happens to you."

  
His phone rang and he picked it up without bothering to look at the caller. Probably his wife.

  
"Yeah. Thanks for your help, Asahi-san."


	2. Warm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warmth makes us sad sometimes.

  
He told me to follow him which I did – with a two-meter distance between us. He didn’t say a word which I interpreted as being considerate. I hate my head. Always guessing. Always interpreting situations that I end up worrying unnecessarily over simple things I see as negative. But you can’t get rid of yourself that easily.

  
I looked up at his broad back. His parka must be warm and cozy. His yellow muffler must be a gift from his wife because it looked handmade. He’s not wearing a bonnet despite being bald. I bet he’s the kind of person who would argue that he’s not bald. I can’t imagine him with a normal haircut though.

  
I sniff. It’s really cold. He suddenly stopped and looked back at me, with thick puffs of breath emanating from his mouth. I took a step back. Instinct. He looked like a scheming demon under the street light.

  
Maybe my defensive reaction changed his mind. He walked on without asking anything. I may sound like an ingrate but it makes me uncomfortable, every time he, or anybody, asks me questions. Like a surgeon slicing your skin and scrutinizing your innards.

  
I understand that he’s a grownup and he needs to assess my situation. Sooner or later, he’s gonna demand more personal information. A fifteen-year-old running away from home with a ripped lip and swollen face; of course it’s inevitable. I know that. But as long as I can prevent it, I’d rather look down at my feet and avoid eye contact.

  
He took a turn. A normal house. I looked up at the window with the lights on. Maybe it’s his room.

  
“C’mon in. Hurry up,” he said with a big smile. Trying really hard to convince me that he’s not a gangster or someone suspicious. I walked up to the front door and gingerly stepped inside.

  
“Warm. . .” I muttered.

  
“Tadaima!” he called. A woman’s head poked from the living room. I held on to my sling bag tight, pretending to stare at the floor. If my heart could run on its own, it would’ve bailed.

  
“Ryuuuu! You’re late!” she whined pretty loudly. “I even prepared dinner!”

  
“I told you this morning, didn’t I?” he said while tapping my shoulder. I almost jumped but quickly got the message and took off my jacket. I tried to look at the woman but I’m too scared for my life to raise my face so I bowed while murmuring some greetings.

  
The woman just laughed like she’s a familiar relative. I’m glad people can’t read minds.

  
“Your student?”

  
“Yeah. He’s staying here for tonight,” he said and dragged me upstairs. “He’s freezing so we’ll eat later.”

  
“All right. I’ll reheat your share.”

  
“I’m starving! I don’t think that would suffice, you know,” he called.. They’re kind of a loud family. “Make it big!”

  
“I got it!”

  
He dragged me all the way to a dark room. He switched on the light and started rummaging inside the closet, walked back and forth and peeked at his bathroom door and stood with hands on his side. Thinking.

  
The place looked like an ordinary room with posters of naked girls and volleyball teams. There were balls and dumbbells at the corner and the desk was messy with piles of paper. I stood by the door while looking around, trying to process the information while fighting the urge to ask whose room was that.

  
“Your wife’s okay with posters like that?” I asked. The big-chested idol stared back at me seductively.

  
“Huh?” he looked up with a puzzled expression. “She’s my sister.”

  
I was so convinced that he was married that it took me a while to respond.

  
“You didn’t see her? People always say that she looks like a female version of me.”

  
I shook my head.

  
“I didn’t see her face at all.”

  
He grinned. I wish I could do the same. Grinning like the world likes me.

  
“Well, just imagine me with long hair,” he said. “Wait here for a sec. I’ll prepare the bath.”

  
The bath was so hot I could cry. I don’t want to experience good things like that. I might long for them and it’s the most annoying thing that could happen to me. Wishing for good things, those impossible things, it just feels like swallowing a handful of needles. Torturous.

  
My greatest fear would be having to experience something wonderful and long for it, just like how you continue to close your eyes after a really good dream. You’d wish when you open your eyes, it’s still there.

  
When I got out, he’s not in the room. I sat on the floor to wait but after the bath, all I wanted to do was sleep.

  
I opened my eyes. I fell asleep. My stomach hurts like hell though. It’s worse after drinking coffee and falling asleep on an empty stomach. I sat up and looked around the room. He’s still awake, sitting in front of his messy desk.

  
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience,” I said. He turned his swivel chair around. “I’m sorry for falling asleep without asking first.”

  
“You. You act like the world doesn’t want you in it.”

  
I just looked up at him like I’m underwater. I think I look like an ugly fish too, gasping stupidly for a life that’s irrelevant.

  
How do I begin making excuses? I’m so lame. My stomach growled even louder.

  
“I’m crying because I’m hungry though,” I said and stared at the floor.

  
He stood up. I tried to shrink back as far as I could but I was already sitting on the floor with my back on his bed so there’s no room to hide. He still reached for my hair and I felt his huge warm hand ruffle my hair. I closed my eyes and stayed stiff as I could with my fists tightly clenched. Ready for impact.

  
This is what body contact does to my body.

  
“Smartass. You remind me of an old teammate. Anyway, he's no longer here.”

  
“He died?”

  
He pulled his hand back. I squint at him to see his reaction.

  
“Idiot. He’s living in Tokyo now.”

  
“Ah.”

  
“You’re hungry right,” he said while standing up. “Stop crying though. I’m no good at being comforting.”

  
Huh. I wanna laugh. It sounded like a plea.

  
“Oh, right. What should I call you?” he asked without turning around. He stood by the doorway.

  
I stared at his back. I remember my own body that’s really just a set of big-boned skeleton wrapped in patchy skin. For some reason, envy welled inside me.

  
“I. . . Hotaru.”

  
“Seriously, huh,” he said and left.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Changed the title coz I really think Into The Sky by Hiroyuki Sawano ft. Tielle is super awesome. Hahaha.


	3. Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking it slow. We'll get there someday.

 

I’m sitting as still as I can manage but my eyes keeps on wandering to the picture frame on his desk. It’s a wedding photo. He looked much younger and anyone could say just by looking at his expression that he’s well over the moon. Who wouldn’t? His wife was unbelievably beautiful. I wonder how he convinced her to marry him.

“Beautiful ain’t she? I know what you’re thinking,” he said and laughed. He’s carrying two trays, one on each hand. “I’m cool too, you know. But I really spent a long time proving to her that I’m better than everybody else.”

He sighed. There’s a sad part to this, I can feel it. He’s not even trying to cover up.

“I won her in the end,” he continued and placed the trays on the floor. “Let’s eat.”  
I looked at the food and I looked at him. He grinned.

“You’re making a weird face again. I don’t mind. Believe me. Don’t sweat every little thing, Hotaru-kun. You’ll end up bald.”

I didn’t answer and started eating with my head down. Swallowing in front of another person is seriously hard. When was the last time I ate a meal together with another person?

“You looked beat, I decided to let never interrupt.”

“I’m fine with leftovers.”

“Come on now. You think I’m fine with that? Besides, eating alone is boring and I wanted to talk to you more.”

Here it comes. I want to barf.

“Having a conversation and interrogation ain’t the same, kid,” he said.

Surprised, I quickly raised my face to look at him. He roared.

“I’m not reading your mind. I’m looking at you. Relax. I’m not gonna ask you anything that might make you uncomfortable.”

Everything makes me uncomfortable though. I can’t even stop my hands from trembling that I’m spilling food. I could feel his eyes on me and it’s freaking me out. If I started crying he’d really think I’m crazy. I stopped and placed my bowl on my lap.

“Can I ask you a favour, Tanaka-sensei?” I squeeze my fist so tight to stop it from shaking.  
  
“Sure.”

“Please don’t look at me. If-if it’s okay, I mean . . . if, if –“

I’m messing things up so badly. I’ve been asking him to be rude and do weird things for my convenience. Shameless. Shameless. I don’t deserve good food.

“Oh, I get it,” he said and picked up his share and placed them on a tray.

If he’s pissed, I guess it’s time up for me. A lump of food and a chunk of shame stuck on my throat down to my chest that I automatically bit the back of my right index finger. I’m gonna mess up the floor if I don’t distract myself. I’m intruding so why the hell am I being too difficult? I don’t like this. Every little thing upsets me like I’m a fucking baby.

I’m perfectly aware. I know. But it’s stronger than my own will to act like a normal human being.

“I’m really sorry for being rude.”

“Is this fine? Let’s turn our backs to each other to be fair.”

I carried my own tray and turned my back on him. Surprisingly, I felt calmer.

“Uhm, Tanaka-sensei. . .”

“Hmm?”

“I’m not a bad person too.”

“Idiot. Of course I know!” he laughed. “The food is good right? My sister made it and she’ll be really happy if you eat everything.”

“Can you thank her for me?”

“Why don’t you do it yourself? She’s pretty approachable.”

“I can’t do it even if I want to though,” I said and let out a soft laugh. I’m extremely grateful I don’t know what to say. But I should talk at least. Imagine that I’m just talking to myself.

“May I ask why?”

“Polite talk doesn’t suit you, Tanaka-sensei.”

He laughed too.

“So, why?”

“I’m afraid of girls.”

“That’s rough. You’ve never had a girlfriend?”

“It’s out of the question.”

“Well, when I was your age, I didn’t have one too. I was too loyal to Kiyoko-san to bother about the overflowing love letters in my shoe locker.”

“You were famous?”

“I’m still super famous, Hotaru-kun! My students even say that I’m the best thing that happened to Japan since the invention of watermelon. I was Karasuno’s ace after all! We went to National several times you know?! How come you’ve never heard of the great Dragon of the Court, Tanaka Ryuunosuke?!”

Watermelons weren’t invented though.

“Excuse my ignorance, sir. I’m not really interested in anything, especially volleyball, or sports in general.”

“I’ll teach you if you wanna try it. If you return to school, feel free to go to the volleyball club. You’ll make friends there too.”

“I don’t really care if I don’t make any friends. I’ll end up disappointing them.”

“You’re really interesting. I knew you looked bored.”

“My bad. The things I’m interested in, I can’t do. Damn it. I’m even bothering you with my whining.”

“You’re still hung up about that. I don’t mind and this is actually an improvement. I like this. We’re not face-to-face but you’re talking just fine.”

“Do you have a kid, Tanaka-sensei?”

An attempt to change the topic.

“I have a daughter. She’s with Kiyoko-san now though."

It worked.

“Where are they now?”

“You’re an unfair brat, you know that?”

I didn’t answer. I am indeed. I just hate talking about myself. I don’t have lots of good things to talk about anyway.

“We had a terrible fight. Maybe she’s tired of putting up with my crap. Maybe my jokes ain’t funny anymore. Grownups have it tough too, Hotaru-kun.”

I could feel his body heat on my back. I listened to him brag about his wife and his daughter. I understood why the wonderful Kiyoko-san fell in love with him. They were perfect for each other even if it’s not obvious at first glance. He’s a cool man and whatever went wrong, he’s still cool now. I don’t know who’s wrong or right. Who cares about subjective things like that?

He’s an awesome human being, that, I know so well.

“Oh god, I just miss them so much,” he said and stood up. We didn’t look at each other while I helped him clean up. I carefully picked up the tiniest crumbs and kept my head bowed down. “You sleep on my bed.”

“Floor is more than enough.”

“Bed. You’re not a cactus. I’m not using it tonight, anyway.”

He didn’t even ask the reason why I’m afraid of girls. He didn’t accuse me of being odd or even joked about it, as if it’s a small matter.

I smile under his warm blanket.

“I believe you, Tanaka-sensei.”

“What?” he asked. Last time I checked, he’s hunched over his paperwork.

“You’re the coolest.”

“Bastard, you thought I was lying?!”

I can’t stop smiling. He can’t see my face anyway. If he can’t see me, he won’t have any idea about the things on my mind right now.

It felt like a really long time. I forgot about home because I was too preoccupied with my anxiety in front of a no-longer-stranger stranger. I found myself forgetting about the worries for tomorrow, when I finally return to reality. My senses were overwhelmed with comfort. It’s a bad thing, but I’m too tired to resist.

I’m slipping away from my body and I’m floating and it feels so good.

This feeling. I’m losing my mind.

**Author's Note:**

> I like Tanaka so much and it has been my dream to be able to make a fanfic with him and his godly personality.
> 
> I wrote this in a minimalistic way. Like a boring manga. But I like things better this way.


End file.
